Perspectives

by Jonathan Bunday

Why was I born so slow?

Why did the Holy One… All seeing. All knowing. Perfect in wisdom.
Supposedly!
See fit to encase my free and dancing spirit within this lumbering carcass?
That creeps, and crawls, and trudges with rhythmical torpidity;
That takes an eternity to get the shortest distance.
A twig across my path seems like a Giant Redwood
A stone like Butser Hill
A puddle like Heath Lake.

Even the busy wood louse scuttles past like an Olympic sprinter
With a cheery “Morning, slowcoach! Nice day!” as he leaves me trailing in his wake.
 
Why did the Creator choose to incarcerate me in this now fat and ever more wrinkled body?
That crawls inch by painful inch across the damp earth
Up the brown plant stem
All to reach the life sustaining leaf – 
My daily bread, my nourishment that nourishes me less and less 
As this geriatric body stiffens and crumbles, and finally gives up the ghost.
Why?
What is it all for? 

I have never doubted how loved I am. 
His love throbs and pulses through every cell of my body.
His delight in me; 
His tender care;
His passion, and compassion, for me, even me
Surely the slowest and least important of His creatures.

And yet, His purpose in creating me remains a mystery -
At least to me.
Soon I shall breathe my last, and die.
Die, knowing I am so loved;
But die without knowing my deeper purpose.
If only I could know.
If only I had even some faint inkling of why He made me like this.
Ah well. 
He knows. 
That has to be sufficient.
He gives, and He takes away.
Blessed be His Holy Name.

The Word saw, and He smiled.
As creation was unfolding on that seismic fifth day;
All of heaven gasping with wonder and delight
As each new creature burst into life upon the Virgin Earth.
Each one revealing something of the Divine Mystery, 
Divine Wisdom; Divine Glory;
The elephant’s strength; the gazelle’s grace;
The eagle’s pinioned, breathtaking beauty in flight;
Each one a mirror, a reflection, of one small part of the Holy One.

Then heaven paused; intrigued.
The humble caterpillar appeared;
Brought into being by a word from The Word.

“Now what reflection is this?” whispers one to another.
“What part of Him does this slow and tiny creature reveal?”

And now, Heaven sees, the caterpillar - having lived so briefly,
Stops, dies, and is encased in a funeral shroud of its own body.

The Word saw, and He smiled.
There are no mistakes.
All are so loved; so precious; so cherished.
All reveal something of His Divine Nature.

“Arise, my love,” whispers The Word.
Heaven holds its breath.
A tremor of movement in the dead pupa.
A flash of colour.

The new creature arises, phoenix-like, called into life by the Beloved.
It gasps with wonder as it soars, and swoops, and flutters on the gentle wind.
The sights, the smells, the delight, the freedom -
Set free from that stiff and plodding body into a glorious burst of dancing speed and energy.

Ground that once took a tortuous day to cover
Is now crossed in a breath and a flap of iridescent wings.
The Redwood beneath me now.
Butser? Hah! A stone! 
Heath Pond? A mere puddle!

The greatest mystery of all time;
The prophetic forerunner of the Incarnate Word 
And for every ransomed child of God until the end of time -
Revealed through an insignificant grub?
Truly, for the foolishness of God is wiser, far wiser, than man’s wisdom;
And nothing 
is insignificant 
To Him.


© Jonathan Bunday 2013

Forest Walk Part 3 – Living Word

We came across two trees intertwined. One was old with peeling bark, the other younger smoother and vibrant. They were mutually supportive and reminded us of the Living Word – Old and New Testaments.

Neither of the Testaments stand alone. The Old points us to the New and the New is the fulfilment of the Old. Both grow in the same direction and teach us about God – His ways and His person.

Both were alive, producing dense foliage. The leaves that suck the unwanted things from the air and breathe out oxygen. His Word is alive.

Thus ended our walk. I love the way God is so present in all of His creation.

Forest Walk Part 2 – The Vineyard

In John 15 Jesus talks in length about the vine and we were thrilled to find a young vineyard in the middle of nowhere on our walk. Jesus calls himself ‘The Vine’ and us ‘the branches’ but in another sense, since we are called to be like him, we are also like individual vine plants in His vineyard.

What struck us was the time every little vine spent alone in isolation in its little protective sleeve. At a time of national social isolation this was very relevant.

All the time the baby vine is in its sleeve, it feels alone and in the dark. Yet it is a necessary time in order to teach it to grow straight and to grow towards the light. The sleeve may feel restrictive but it is also protecting the vine from pests and predators that would attack its wood to strip its leaves. Whilst it is in the sleeve the vine has no idea that it is part of something vast, that one day it will be producing fruit and contributing towards the rich wine that will be be produced.

How vast is His vineyard and how tenderly He cares for each individual vine, training it to become part of the whole.

“My Father is the gardener.”

Forest Walk – Part One

This time we opted for a forest walk and asked God to walk with us.

Whilst we know he is always with us, there seems to be specific times when He says ‘walk with me’ and this was one of them. We chose to ‘look up’. The majestic pines towered above us, refusing all distractions and reaching straight up to the light.

We felt small amidst the huge trees, yet looked down to find heart-shaped blossom at our feet.

A reminder that His love is all around us, if we have eyes to see.

We saw more of this right at the end of our walk, again reminding us that He – the King whose name is Love – is our Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end.

Beach Walk

Today I walked on the beach. I was struck by how much more beautiful the pebbles and shells were when wet. Also that shells/pebbles out further on the sand bank were covered more deeply by the sea and for longer and stood out in their solitary beauty, rather than the shells on the shingle which got lost in the crowd.

It spoke to me about how I need to wet, how I need to be unafraid of being out further, and alone. There were footprints in the sane even far onto the sandbank. He is always with me.

I don’t need to strive to get or stay wet, I just need to be still and let the tide wash over me. He will polish and shape me with His waves if I choose to stay and simply be.

Crucifixion

A man being crucified

What do you see?
So many seeing different things:

A mother weeping for her son
The crowds jeering at a con man
another deadbeat dying
The rabbis see a blasphemer getting his just rewards
And fold their arms in satisfaction 
The Romans see a rabble rouser put down
And heave sighs of relief
His friends see the end of their dreams
Confusion and grief in their hearts
Or 30 pieces of silver in their pocket
The women weep.
Some see a fellow convict
Refusing to curse and die.
Pilate sees a mystery.
His enemies see revenge satisfied 
The disinterested see just another day
The soldiers see just another criminal
Too late they see that
Truly this is the son of God

Who sees the opened armed sacrifice
being made for all men and all salvation?
Abundant life poured out
In blood and tears
At the place of the skull for us

After the stench of torture and death
Comes a fragrance of life
Doors flung open to eternity
For all who chose to follow
Who sees?

Surrounded by people
Your greatest victory was born in solitude and pain
Father forgive us, we know not what we do.

Lockdown Blessing

• 

This is a blessing that finds you
As you dare to divert from distractions.
To turn off TV – even YouTube!
To say ‘no’ to News
To evade entertainment
To step back from Social Media
Mute the music
and wave away Wassapp.

And in the stillness let Spirit Holy find you
Let the sun be as His love
Penetrating you.
Warming and healing your heart.
Let the breeze be His touch
upon your skin
For He never self-distances from you.
Hear His praises sung by birds
and lift your heart to Him.

Let rest be your strength.
He is with you
Your heart cries ‘Emmanuel!’
And so He is
God with us.
A blessing within.

Lazarus

• 

There was a lot of noise

Wailing – grief shrieking into empty skies.
Protests and grumbles: ‘It’s too late now’
Shuffling and footsteps milling around in confusion
Pushing and shoving, wanting to see what He would do
Questions and puzzlement: ‘What’s He up to?’
A command: “Roll the stone away!”
We didn’t all hear that above the noise –
But then the heavy grinding, creaking
Of the stone rolling. 
And a communal intake of breath.

Then there was this pause. This silence.

It may not have lasted long
But it felt like an eternity
And if you listened hard
You might have heard shock
And cynicism, and unbelief.
And “I told you so’ 
Or
You might have heard a burgeoning of hope
In the waiting.
A murmuring of faith
Like ripples arriving on the shore. 

Where there should have been a stench
You might have smelt freshness in the silence. 
All eyes were fixed on Jesus. 

And then a cry: ‘Lazarus come forth!’
A loud cry, like the ‘It is finished!’ that came later – 
The cry that had to be heard before resurrection could come.

And then this holding of breath.
The silence deepened.
Hope overcame doubt as shuffling was heard.
Shock echoed around the burial ground.
A final silence as Lazarus stood before us.

Oh, then there was noise! 
Unbinding and freedom
Crying, rejoicing, laughing and hugging.
Processing we sang
As we danced home together to feast on the resurrection day.

So what is in my silence now?
Doubt? Hope?

Eyes fixed on Jesus. 

As we have the sure knowledge
That again we will dance home together and feast on resurrection day.

Press into Love

• 

Press into love.
God is not far off. He is in your heart.
Isolation fades as you see you are
united with Christ.
How then can you be alone?

Bathe in the love
He has poured into your heart
through His Spirit.
Bring every wound and submerge it.
Let healing flow.

The eternal spring
He has placed in you
will never run dry.
Press. Into. Love.

With Christ

• 

If I must be hidden
Then let me be hid in You.
If I must wait
Then let the waiting be a time of incubation
Until beautiful new life appears.
If rest I must
Oh let me feel the wings that bear me up.

Were the daylight to disappear and all become black
Still you would see me.
God who seeks me out and knows me.
You are the one who inhabits my heart
and goes with me even into danger
and the dessert.
You are my strength.
My guide.
My helper.

An ever present help in times of trouble.

Truly my spirit is entwined with Your Holy Self and nothing can separate me from Your love.