Here Jesus prayed.

Facing the unknown, when you are about to approach something difficult, be it a parting, a difficult journey, or a course of unpleasant medical treatment, is difficult. It would be much harder to face these same things, whilst knowing fully what they would entail. Which of us has not said at some time ‘if I knew this would happen, I wouldn’t come this way’.

I believe Jesus knew what lay ahead. He knew that betrayal, torment, agony and death were coming. For the person of God to ‘become sin’ – this too, lay ahead, and is a darkness beyond our understanding, yet he walked into that too, with eyes open. Jesus knew what would happen, why else would he pray, ‘If it is possible, let this cup of suffering be taken away from me.’

Is there anything on this earth that can console a person in such grief, facing the loss of body, soul and spirit? Perhaps only not to face it alone. Yet that was the point at which Jesus’s friends slept. Those same friends whom he had nurtured, taught and loved for 3 years. those same friends would flee, leaving him to face the terror alone.

How did You feel?
You told them you were going
You told them they would grieve.
Were you hinting when You said 
“a time is coming when I will not pray for you, 
you can pray yourselves.”

You reminded them of their love for You.
You told them that You were going.
You said they would be scattered
But that You, Jesus
would be
all alone

WHY didn’t they pray for You Jesus?
For Heaven’s sake
they could not even stay awake
To be with You
While Your anguished soul cried out

Grief is a lonely place.
You alone are there.


How easily the word Forgiveness trips off my tongue. Yet as I consider the depth of the betrayal of Jesus and the agony of the cross, the grace of His quiet forgiveness strikes me anew. How quick I am to take offence if I feel slightly ignored or badly treated by people I don’t know, let alone by friends. Yet He foreknew what would happen, and did not forbid Judas to come to the last supper or turn away from the fake kiss.


With Easter almost upon us, I plan to put something up daily regarding the week on the Passion of Christ. Please ignore the timeline – like the bible, I will jump around the timeline a bit.

Today reflecting on people Jesus loved. Mary, the disciples, and us.

Secret Place

When and where is there joy?

When He holds the most important place
the Highest place 
the innermost throne
of my heart
and in my life.

He loves to dwell in the inner sanctuary
that too often he occupies alone
whilst waiting for me.

In that place is
A River
A different experience each day.

New beginnings
Love poems

and so it goes on…
I could write a Thesaurus and it would never say enough.
For the words of what is found in that place
march off the page to eternity.

My fickle heart - you have an enemy who shakes to see you go there.
Not merely to pass through paying lip service to my King
But to sit. To gaze. To dwell.

Therein my joy. My love. My heart.


Were we so shocked and traumatised
that we did not believe
that you meant what you said 
when you told us
this temple will be raised just 3 days after it has been destroyed?

Were we so blind
that we did not see you
by our side
until you broke the bread and gave it to us?

Were our minds so dull
that all the prophecies meant nothing
until you patiently unpacked them?

Were our hearts so cold that we did not know you walked with us
until so much later?
Am I so tossed by life that your promises and life itself seem empty?
Am I so blind that I do not see you in every sky, tree or insect I pass?
Am I so deaf that I do not hear your voice in the wind and the word?
Is my heart so cold that I do not feel you by my side?

Every. Single. Day.

I believe. Forgive my unbelief.


The joyous wedding
Marital bliss
Longed for as a child, it became yours.
Life looking good

Except the womb lay empty
And until your husband snatched away.

Seven years of almost perfect 
Enough memories to tear at your heart
As now you slept alone.
And who would want a barren woman as a wife?

So what to do? And how to live?
A decision. 
A step made in the direction of the temple.
A life dedicated to quiet service
To cleaning and candle lighting
To prayer and worship
A friend of God
And not abandoning hope.

Seventy seven long years
Living in God’s presence
Sleeping in His temple
Knowing Him
Speaking his words.
Childless you remained 

Until a suddenly when
The Child was here and
Placed in your arms.

As you had entrusted your life, your self to Him
So He came to You and placed himself in Your arms.

A glorious eternal moment
When God lay in your arms and looked you in the eyes.

The arms that had been empty
Now full.
Love was yours. Forever.

Psalm 23

Walking through the dark valley of the shadow does not sound so bad if You are with me
But O I underestimated the thick, impenetrable blackness 
and swirling confusion of that valley.
The gut-wrenching shock - how did I get here?
No road back. 
I stumble though this strange land
Every tragedy that ever assailed me seems to return
And here I am stuck, red eyes awake
Heart shaking
Dreading the unknown path ahead...scared, if I am honest.

Fear not, child. I am with you.
I will never NEVER leave you alone.
I am not the author of confusion
I am close beside in that valley I myself traversed.

I WILL restore your soul
It may take time but let us journey.
The wind of my spirit will lift the chaotic clouds of confusion
And you will find that there are
Green pastures, 
and still waters.
Places of peace 
for you to find.
I will renew your strength

A shepherd has eyes only for the sheep
And I am a good shepherd 
I will not allow you to stay lost and confused
My comfort and anointing are here for you.
I will prepare such a feast for you
The enemy who watches will flee in confusion
As I reveal my favour, sacrifice and goodness.

I would like you to trust.
But whether you do or whether you don’t 
Or perhaps just some of the time
My love is unfailing.
I am with you.